...goes back further than I was willing to admit for a long time. I've always had a shame attached to sharing extraordinary experiences-it was the one thing that could actually get me to shut up as a kid. The truth is, we all have it in us-extraordinary experiences, the only differing factor is the amount of faith and belief we each have in the unexplainable coincidences that occur along our path.
After a healthy dose of partying as a young adult, and falling helplessly prey to this country's synthesized environment, by the time I was in my late 20's, I was dealing with insomnia, stress, digestive issues, a weakened immune system, and a broken-down gut. I couldn't focus, I was put on multiple medications, and ended up with a brain tumor from a birth control regime that I really didn't need. When I was in my second pregnancy during 2013, I was untrusting of the medical sciences that could never tell me why I was endlessly fatigued and frequently ill.
Once I returned home from my 2013 cesarian, my body went haywire like a short circuit shutting down an entire city grid. I had trouble breathing, sleep became something of the past, my body stopped metabolizing nutrients, I began having migraines after a lifetime of rarely having slight headaches, my vision blurred, my mind began fogged, my sentences were jumbled, I had reflux, my skin was flushing and itching from head to toe, and I was ALWAYS ill.
I chased diagnosis from one specialist to another and had nearly every type of blood draw imaginable, but nothing surfaced. It wasn't Lupus, It wasn't Crohn's or Celiacs, it wasn't my thyroid, autoimmune disease, or anything else they tested me for. Many times we thought the brain tumor had resurfaced, but no. There was no explanation for my endless list of symptoms, and by the time 2017 hit, my doctors were tired of the questions and complaints and had no answers, and I had no faith left in them.
We knew that after years of work-related stress and trauma, I had adrenal fatigue and MCAS, however, most doctors don't know how to treat those disorders (at least in my experience). So there I sat. 36, sick, and no one but my good friend Vanilla Late keeping me awake and functioning enough to run a Special Education Classroom every day. My body was dying, and my family was paying the price of my work-related stress. That's when the turning point appeared. I asked for guidance, and I got it.
I joined a good friend in my first Reiki course taught by Karen Harrison out of the KC area, and every day since has been better than the last, even with their challenges, unpredictabilities, and heart breaks. Once I had affirmation and camaraderie in knowing the true nature of what we are as human experiencers, I began to rebuild my confidence and live with both conviction and purpose again. It sounds crazy to say that, knowing that I was a Special Education teacher- one of the most rewarding jobs there is. But the system is a cruel and tangled mess, and does not offer the time it takes for self care and mental health attention.
Reiki paved the way for me to see myself from the outside in again, allowing me to express with whole truth and the creativity I had as a girl. Then my self esteem returned! I was able to plan my long term goals again, understand how my children needed me, and I could clearly see my place in the world. I felt like I was no longer trapped in a reality that I didn't choose. I began to make my own choices again, and now I'm smiling again!
With regular attention to my meditative practices and through Reiki healing, I was able to clearly see what small dietary changes I needed to make to begin healing my body, how to handle the smallest stressors, and how to organize my routines so that they benefited efficiency, rather than urgency. Reiki has not only turned my life into an open plane of possibilities that I never thought this existence would afford me, but it has also empowered me to use my power of manifestation to build the kind of world around me that will provide future generations with love.
After implementing regular meditative manifestation routines, I was able to quit my job and follow this path- the path of healing, and the path that I would never verbalize until now.